
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/7043161.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major_Character_Death, Rape/Non-Con,
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      Star_Wars_Episode_VII:_The_Force_Awakens_(2015)
  Relationship:
      Rey/Ben_Solo_|_Kylo_Ren, Leia_Organa/Han_Solo, Obi-Wan_Kenobi/Sabé, Rey/
      Hux_(nonconsensual), OC/OC
  Character:
      Rey, Ben_Solo_|_Kylo_Ren, Leia_Organa, Han_Solo, Obi-Wan_Kenobi, Sabe,
      General_Hux, Captain_Phasma_-_Character, Finn_|_FN-2187, Poe_Dameron,
      Original_Male_Characters, Original_Female_Characters
  Additional Tags:
      Suggestive_Dialogue, Violence, Murder, Blood, Torture, coarse_languge,
      Sexual_Situations, elements_of_nonconsensual_sex, Adult_Content, Self
      Harm, religious_punishment, Minor_Character_Death, Major_character_death
      -_Freeform, Kidnapping, Imprisonment, Miscarriage, Teenage_Pregnancy
  Series:
      Part 1 of Cœur_Douloureux
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-06-07 Updated: 2016-10-11 Chapters: 4/7 Words: 9249
****** When Love Was Blind ******
by DarthAzha
Summary
     Dark Ages AU- Rey and Ben were born into a time where love was rare
     and death was common. There are different wars raging through the
     country man against the plague, man against God, and man against one
     another. As Crown Prince, Ben Solo is called to battle in the place
     of his father, promising his lover that he will return and marry her.
     Rey waits and two years pass with no word. Aching to recover
     something, even a body, she volunteers to go as a spy to another
     kingdom seeking rumors about a warrior that seems unstoppable. No
     plague, god, or man can cut down Kylo Ren- The name itself struck
     fear into the valiant soldiers of her home, but with nothing left to
     lose, Rey follows Hux through his castle until she follows him down
     into a dark, damp cellar.
     Tucked between columns, she catches sight of the soldier chained to a
     wall. Scars riddle his arms and chest in white lines, but it is his
     face that strikes her the hardest.
     - "Ben..." Rey whispered leaning forward as if to reach out to him.
     All of her months of effort fails as a stone scuffs across the floor
     from under her feet. The king whipped around, staring at her with
     that unnerving smile of his. "Well, well, Ren... There seems to be a
     rat in our midst."-
***** Disclaimer *****
Disclaimer : I do not own Star Wars, or any of the characters included herein,
this disclaimer applies to the entirety of the work.
All of the song lyrics included in chapters one through six are from the song
“I Dreamed a Dream” sung in the musical  Les Miserables . I did not write these
lyrics, and I take no credit for them.
 
Author’s Note : Any Original Characters (OCs) used will have small biographies
at the beginning of the chapter that they are used in. Kudos and comments
appreciated, but the story is finished and will not change the rate of
uploading.
 
WARNINGS :
If I could make this entire section red I would. Please read, though warnings
will also be tagged in the search.
This story includes-
    * Suggestive Dialogue
    * Violence
    * Murder
    * Blood
    * Torture (Mental and physical)
    * Coarse Language
    * Sexual Situations
    * Elements of Nonconsensual Sex- written inexplicitly.
    * Adult Content
    * Active Self-Harm (Religious Punishment)
    * Minor Character Death
    * Major Character Death
    * Kidnapping
    * Imprisonment
    * Miscarriage
    * Teenage pregnancy
 
Read and enjoy at your own risk. This work is rated E for a reason.
 
If you’ve struggled through this thus far, thank you for reading, I hope to see
you in the comments section!
    * D. Azha
 
***** When Their Voices Were Soft *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
When Their Voices Were Soft
There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong.
===============================================================================
 
S ummer- 1353
Rey remembered exactly how she felt the second she was told that the prince was
most likely dead. The pain that she felt then was the worst that it ever had
been- the crushing, sinking,  devastating  feeling that it left her with had
never gone away. Her day hadn’t begun that way though, and perhaps it was the
pull of such extremes that made it so  unbearable . Before the queen, her
adoptive mother, spoke there was joy, excitement,  relief . The troops had
returned and there were minimal casualties despite the advanced technology the
First Order alliance had over the New Republic. The war had taken more than Rey
would ever care to tally, but in this moment, Rey could do no more than focus
on the losses that this time of desolation had brought her. Had Rey known the
direction her life would take, how the happy moments would spiral downward so
quickly, she might have chosen death over life.  Rey had been alone for longer
than her memory could provide. At some points she remembered people telling her
that her parents died heroes in 1338, at the Rebellion of the Castle Gate when
she was three. In reality though, it might have been something she made up
herself in the solitude and isolation that seemed to consume her life.
Her father was a soldier and her mother traveled with the troops to help;
everyone helped in any way they could to bring down the oligarchy that sought
to enslave the free citizens of the New Republic. The First Order sought to
squash any instances of the rebellion that her parents had been so actively
leading. The First Order rose from the ashes of the Empire. Rey’s parents
believed that the alliances would crumble, just like the empire, with the force
of the people behind the idea of democracy, and from a young age, she learned
that she had a voice and that she should not forget it’s sound or it’s power.
The last time Rey saw her parents was when her mother was tucking her into bed
at her grandmother’s house. “Goodbye, my little ray of sunshine. Papa and I
will be back soon enough”. Even after the couple had left, she begged for them
to stay, and cried for them in each day that followed. Rey would out to the
hill that overlooked the vast countryside and sob. Word poured in after several
weeks. Her parents were dead; the rebellion was over.
After being an orphan for seven years, living with her mother’s parents, the
plague came. It swept through the town, taking children and the elderly in the
night. It took Rey’s grandfather slowly and painfully. There were blisters on
his skin that were an angry red until they would fester and turn black. The
doctors did all that they could, but it wasn’t enough. General Obi-Wan Kenobi
was dying in his bed and there was nothing that anyone could do about it. Her
grandmother, Sabé turned elsewhere to seek help. The church came through with
their incense, telling everyone to beg and to repent while they put boards over
the windows and doors to keep the “sinners” away from the people that were
destined to be saved. Obi-Wan died after a few days and Sabé followed by hours
without having been sick. Rey could look back and understand, more than ever
before, that it was her broken heart that killed her.
        After being left alone in the house for eleven days, with two dead
bodies, and a dwindling supply of freshwater, Rey heard the distinct sounds of
the boards over the door being ripped from the wood of the frame. A woman came
through the gaping entrance. She had kind hands, but hid behind a plague mask.
It was ornate though, much nicer than any of the ones that the members of the
congregation here wore. Suddenly, the stranger leaned down to pick Rey up.
Despite her age, she was impossibly small. For the first time in nearly a
fortnight, Rey was brought outside and she winced as the light hit her eyes.
The moment she was loaded into a dark carriage, tears stung her eyes and Rey
began to sob. The woman in the mask pushed Rey’s hair out of her dirty face and
told her that everything would be alright. And it was.
        Nine years of splendid happiness. Everyone said she was wise beyond her
years; only now did Rey realize it was because of the immense pain that time
had brought to her in the time passed. Yet in this new place, she found
something that she had never expected to have again-- a home. The woman’s name
was Leia and she turned out to be the Queen of a small kingdom called Alderaan.
Her husband, King Solo was the rags to riches type and we spent many hours
together reading and writing. The person that meant the most to Rey, and
continues to do so, would be their son—His Royal Highness, Benjamin James
Organa Solo, grandson of Queen Padme Amidala and General Anakin Skywalker,
Prince of Alderaan and all of the New Republic.  That was before the war came
to Alderaan.
===============================================================================
 
Winter- 1346
Rey ran through the halls of the palace despite how her nurse chased behind
her. The older woman was a few turns behind and the little one knew she had the
advantage. Grinning devilishly she heard something along the lines of, “Ladies
don’t run, Miss Rey!” from behind her before continuing on her adventure
through the castle. In the year that she had been there, Rey had easily
memorized all of the passages-- even those that were supposed to be secret.
When she couldn’t sleep, it was never a surprise for some guard to find her
wandering through the main halls, or a servant to find her running through the
helps’ corridors. It was always an adventure to find a new door, or to see a
new room, but she had run out of places to hide and was currently looking for a
new spot when, to her surprise, she ran into something and fell backwards,
catching herself with her wrist. “Hey!” Rey shouted when she fell, but
immediately bit back tears and cradled her hand close to her chest.
“Who are you?” She muttered ignorantly, brushing her tears away with her free
hand. The tall stranger looked down at her before kneeling to look at her hand.
He had long black hair that hung in his eyes and the smirk he wore reminded the
young girl all too much of Han. “You’re Benjamin aren’t you… The prince I
mean.”
Benjamin nodded and extended his hand with a pensive expression, “Yes, I
imagine you’re my mother’s ward, the little girl from Jakku. Can I see your
hand? I want to make sure it’s not seriously hurt. That was quite a fall,
little one.”
Rey stuck her tongue out at him and the prince scoffed at her impudence, “I’m
not little. I’m taller than all the boys my age and all of the girls. Not
everyone can be a giant like you, your highness.” At her use of the title in
such a way, the prince found no other appropriate response than to laugh. It
did surprise him, however, when she offered him the injured joint. After
applying gentle pressure in different places, he looked down at her.
“Where is your nurse? I’m afraid you might have broken your wrist.”
“No way, I’ve never broken a bone before. That’s impossible. I had a horse kick
me and I was fine.” Rey rebutted quickly, earning a distasteful groan from
Benjamin just as Rey’s nurse rounded the corner.
“Miss Rey, what have you done this time? What have I said about the running,
you’re going to get seriously hurt one of these-” Benjamin cleared his throat
just then, and the nurse shrieked slightly, a sight the young man and girl both
found amusing enough to share a quick smile before he stood. “Oh, your
highness. I’m very sorry. I was so concerned with the little one that I just..”
Benjamin raised a hand, “That’s enough. I understand. I’d like to take her to
the physician though, I think she might have damaged the bone if you look at
the way it’s swelling and the discoloration there. I feel responsible for
getting in her way.” The nurse bowed her head and Rey looked up at her with a
grin and the woman scowled at her before disappearing. “Come on, kid.”
“I’m not a kid. I’m a girl, and my name is Rey.” She demanded, pulling her hand
back in such a manner that brought a stream of tears to her eyes.
Ben kneeled back down to her level and brushed her tears away with a gloved
hand. “Well, Lady Rey, I do apologize for that, but you are a very strong girl.
I don’t know many knights that wouldn’t cry if they had broken a bone.” Her
eyes lit up and she immediately buzzed with questions about him. “Yes, yes,
little Rey. I train with Sir Luke, and his wife Lady Mara. My brother trained
there when he was my age as well. It’s the best knight training school in the
whole country.” Benjamin looked down at her, and couldn’t help but smile at how
wide eyed and enthralled she was by his tale.
“Does that mean you know Jaina and Jacen Skywalker? I want to be just like
Jaina. She’s the best knight that there’s ever been, that’s a girl anyways.”
“Oh? So you want to be a knight hen do you?” He chuckled softly, putting a hand
on her shoulder as he lead her through the castle. “Well maybe one day I’ll see
that it happens.”
===============================================================================
 
It wasn’t three days later that Benjamin was outside with Rey while he watched
her swing a sword at a dummy with one hand bandaged tightly where she had
indeed broken her wrist. However, it was over a fortnight later that she began
to understand and learn how to really work with the weapon. Rey kept her
injured hand tucked close to her body, elbows in at her sides like he had shown
her. His eyes followed her quick movements, noticing, with a smug satisfaction,
that she was particularly talented. “Very good, Rey. That’s enough for now. Go
wash up before dinner.”
Rey flopped back on the ground, looking up at the vaulted ceiling. “I had my
history lesson today…” The prince sat down beside where she had thrown herself,
knowing all too well that something had been bothering her the entire time. “We
were talking about your family… What happened to Anakin?”
“My grandfather? He died in the Great War against the Republic. He defaulted
back to-”
“No, I know all about your grandfather. It’s one of my favorite stories. I
meant your older brother.”
Benjamin sighed, pushing a hand back through his hair. “My mother and father
refuse to tell me the whole story, but I’ll share what I know with you.” He
waited for her eyes to fall on his, giving him her full attention. “As is
customary, the first son in every family is destined to do some kind of service
to the crown. In Anakin’s case, he was to be the Crown Prince of Alderaan,
leader of the Jedi knights, and he would eventually take the throne upon my
father’s death. Should there be another son born into royalty, they are sent to
give service to the church.” Rey giggled at the simple thought of  her
Benjamin being a monk, one of the keepers of the word. He narrowed his eyes at
her before continuing, “My brother died while I was away at school. That was
how I became the crown prince. My uncle Luke brought me from the church that I
was training at to his academy where I began my training as a knight.”
“So…” Rey sat up carefully, not putting weight onto her bad wrist. “What do you
want to do, Ben?” It was a simple question, but she knew all too well that it
was one that he never had the chance to answer, just because it was a question
he had never been asked.
Pausing, “I want… I want to be a knight, I want to lead the Jedi Knights, but I
don’t think that I ever want to be king. I would be… Sheltered by a set of
rules, and I would lose quite a bit of the freedom that I have. I wouldn’t be
able to fight as I please, marry as I chose, or love…” Benjamin forced his gaze
off of the little girl, “or love as I wanted.”
“Sounds like a horrible life.” Rey responded with a sigh as she pillowed her
head against her knees once they were drawn up to her chest. “But, Ben…” He
hummed, turning back to look at her, “I think you would make a great king.”
Despite having only known this little girl for three weeks, the sentiment of
her admission brought a genuine smile to his face. “Thank you m’lady. Now…” He
stood and then carefully pulled her up to her feet. “Dinner with me and then
hot sweetened milk and a story before bed?” Rey beamed, bobbing her head
quickly. It had become a habit since the night they first met, and it was one
neither of them would trade for all of the money in their world.
===============================================================================
 
Spring 1347
“Well, we were laying in the grass outside of the castle, in that big field.
The horses were tied off to the big oak tree by the stream and I think there
was a blanket laid out with some pillows and lunch.” Rey explained, “The sun
was high in the sky, and I was wearing a long, white dress. It was very pretty,
I wish you could have seen it. You grabbed my hand and when I turned to look at
you…” She blushed brightly, “You kissed me. That’s such a silly notion right,
why would  you  kiss someone like me?” Rey defended, stiffening slightly.
Ben kept his comments about how much he might actually want to kiss her to
himself. It wasn’t right, She was  too  young. He constantly had to remind
himself of this though so he cleared his throat, “This is hardly sound like a
nightmare, Lady Rey.”
“Patience, your highness, I’ve just started.” She quipped back quickly, “Then I
leaned back when a shadow suddenly moved over us. I looked up and there was… A
man, a knight maybe. He was dressed in black armor with silver markings on his
mask…” Her eyes glazed over in fear, and despite his best efforts at ignoring
the nagging need to hold  his  Rey, Ben put his hand over hers in a comforting
gesture. “He swung a sword made of black metal, and when I looked over you were
gone. The grass had died, there were fires in the distance, and he swung down
at me… Each night I wake up screaming…” Rey rested her head on his shoulder and
rubbed her tired eyes.
The prince listened carefully, but knew no advice that he could give her,
“Well,” He glanced around the library, but knew it would be empty this late at
night. “Sleep here for now, I’ll stay awake and keep you safe.”
Rey offered him a small smile, pulling her dressing gown closer to her chest.
“Really?” When Ben nodded, she laid her head down onto his thigh, bringing her
legs up onto the rest of the couch. His hand ghosted down her arm lightly,
before he set to brushing her hair out of her face. The fire flickered in front
of the both of them in a soothing way that it wasn’t long until Rey had fallen
asleep against him.
The prince let his head fall back against the couch before making a silent plea
to the gods above. He needed a sign, or a hint, or  something  to tell him that
his affections for the girl were pure, that when she came of age they would be
allowed. Rey herself kept no secret of her admiration, but Ben was forced to
limit himself.  She was too young . It wasn’t uncommon for nobility to take
young wives, but more often than not they died before they could see twenty
summers. Ben ran his knuckles across her cheek while she slept, damning himself
for…  this . He wouldn’t see her die so young, not when he had swore, by God
himself, that he would protect her at any cost.
Even if the cost was to love and be loved in return.
Chapter End Notes
     I would name her nurse, but she is of little consequence to the story
     and will not be seen again in this. Hope you enjoy it thus far!!
***** In Time Gone By *****
In Time Gone By
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
===============================================================================
 
Winter- 1353-January 1354
“There’s nothing that can be done! I don’t understand why that is such a hard
concept to grasp. With all due respect, your majesty, there are people dying
every day.” Rey shouted at first, but now her voice was barely above a whisper.
The sound itself was deadly. “People that don’t deserve to die. This war, is…
it’s going to tear this world apart if it does so one person at a time.” Her
eyes narrowed at the queen, a silence passing between them that would have
easily been missed if one wasn’t paying attention.
Leia stumbled over her words. “I… I know, since we lost him…”
“I know.” Rey cut in, the words stinging as much as they had the day she heard
them first. “But, he-  Ben - is watching us from the Lord’s house, and he would
not want to see this. How we are dying out slowly, like animals forced to
endure a drought. We  must  prevail.”
Leia gripped the arms of the chair that she sat in, but that was enough for Rey
to realize that her point had been made. The young woman sat back down in her
chair, mimicking the queen’s posture out of habit. What caught her attention
though was the way that Leia let out her breath and cast her eyes upon her
daughter, “You’ve been wearing black for far too long.”
The silence that followed was deafening, broken only by the scrape of Rey’s
chair as it flew out from behind her. There were no tears on her face, because
truly there were no tears left to be shed. The doors opened in front of her as
she unceremoniously left the council chambers. The sound of hasty footfalls
followed her and her personal guard came up beside her, grabbing her hand in
his own. “Rey… Listen. I know what you’re trying to say, what you’re trying to
do.”
“ No. ” She answered in a fierce tone, tugging her hand from his grasp, only to
have his fingers encircle her wrist. “You don’t understand what it’s like to be
alive when it should have been me that died! Why have I survived this? He was
meant for this crown, not me. Yet if I do not take it who will? Who will rule
if not me? Who will show courage if not me?” Suddenly, Finn’s body was pressed
close to hers, and the young woman limply held onto him. Sobs broke out against
the familiar leather of his armor, and Finn just held her tightly, gently
rubbing her back in as soothing a manner as he possibly could.
Rey’s mind wandered as she calmed down and she pried them away from Ben and
forced them onto the war. Her voice was thick, “Is there any more word on Kylo
Ren?” She questioned, stepping back, and rubbed the tears and redness from her
eyes and cheeks.
“Not so far as I’ve heard though the rumors are of great concern to all of us.
If what they say is true… We won’t be fighting for much longer.”
Kylo Ren turned out to be the knight from her nightmares. Black and silver
armor, with a sword that seemed to be forged of darkness itself. Was this man
death in disguise? It felt like the apocalypse. Plague still ran rampant
through the country, now infecting the large cities as well as the sprawling
countryside. Then the drought was killing out the livestock, leaving people in
the midst of a large famine. If Death came with the war than certainly the
apocalypse was upon them. Rey crossed herself at the thought.
Her maid had turned over her blankets a few hours ago, and she knew that the
bed would be cold by now. Yet, a part of her felt th at it had to be before she
would ever enter it.
“So long as I’m around you’ll never sleep in a cold bed.”
“Why? Because you’re so lazy that you turn in early every night?”
“You can’t talk to me like that.”
“Please excuse me, your  highness .”
A shiver rolled down her spine and Rey slammed her book closed, leaving it on
her desk before she moved over towards the window. Her chambers were on the
side of the castle that bordered the sea. The waves crashed softly against the
sand, offering some calm in the storm that had become her life. There were the
echos of cannon fire, the clash of swords, and the twang of bow strings being
released from the wall. The siege had finally settled on the citadel’s walls.
Though impregnable, they would be forced to surrender soon, else everyone would
perish.
Finn’s warnings followed in her memory, “They say that he is stronger than a
hundred men, that he can wipe out an entire battalion with one swing of his
sword… That death follows him wherever he goes. He wears chains upon his
wrists. Do you think it possible that The First Order could have captured Death
himself?” Rey laughed at the notion, but as the castle trembled beneath her
feet, she wondered if perhaps she hadn’t given this formidable man the credit
he deserved. Rey let out a sigh, but looked up when her door opened.
“Lady mother, Hayden had another nightmare. He asked me to get you.” The small
voice brought a genuine smile to Rey’s face and she stood, smoothing out her
gown.
“Lest he be kept waiting, Lady Charlotte.” The little girl’s nose wrinkled and
she ran up to Rey, clutching onto her skirt.
Charlotte rolled her eyes, “I believe I requested that I  never  be called that
again.”
“Yes, yes, of course, princess. I remember now.”
Hayden had been born sick, where his sister was strong and healthy. Some people
said that it was an omen about the future of the kingdom, Rey hadn’t cared in
the slightest. They were alive and that’s all that mattered. Charlotte had
taken on the role of his caretaker even at their young age. When Rey spent time
with them, it was almost as though she would speak for the both of them. Hayden
would be the king, but there was no doubt that Charlotte would act as his
regent, and would rule at his side, even when he took a wife.
Rey couldn’t have been more proud, and she knew that Ben would have felt the
same.
When she sat beside her son, Charlie took the other side of the bed. “How is my
little prince?” Rey hummed, brushing his platinum hair out of his face before
replacing the cool rag upon his brow.
“I’ve-” he coughed a few times, but thank the Lord that it came with a dry
sound, “I’ve been feeling better, do you think maybe I could go outside with
Charlie tomorrow, Lady mother? I would love to see the snow.” Charlie frowned
down at him, shaking her head.
“I hardly think that’s a good idea, Hayden.” For someone so young, her voice
was impressively regal, “Mother wouldn’t have you getting sicker when you’ve
only just started to get well again.” He sigh was sad, but Charlie brushed her
lips over his temple, “But we can certainly go to the library if you’re feeling
up to it, maybe mother can read us a story. One of the fairy tales.”
Rey put a hand over her chest, willing her heart to slow down, willing the pain
to stop. “Perhaps, my little children. Perhaps I will.”
“Can you tell us about the one in the apple orchard?” Hayden requested softly,
looking up at his mother with horribly glassy eyes. Rey’s brows knitted
themselves together, but he answered her question shortly after she had thought
it. “I know that one is Charlie’s favorite. She like the romance part when the
prince kissed the princess.”
“No- That’s not what I said. My favorite part was that she wasn’t a princess,
she was just a girl, and that she kissed him. The other way is just silly.
We’re going to have a lot to teach you before you can even think about getting
married.” Hayden stuck his tongue out at his sister just before she rolled her
eyes and snuggled down under the covers beside him.
“Well, if it is her favorite, then I could always just tell you now. I know
that one by heart.”
===============================================================================
 
Summer 1347
Rey was at the top of an apple tree, her legs swinging out beneath her as she
bit into an apple. “You know that if you fall and get hurt, my mother would
legitimately consider cutting my head off. Right?” Ben demanded from the
ground. He had grown since last Christmas, at least half a foot. When she
jumped down so carelessly, he almost cringed away from it. “You know, you’re
going to get hurt one of these days, Lady Rey.”
She smirked, peeking around the tree at the prince. “Perhaps, but I haven’t
fallen yet, and now that you’re back, I’ve got someone to catch me.” Tossing
him an apple that she had hidden in the folds of her skirts, Rey darted off
between the trees. Laughter filled the warm air around them both, and it filled
her lungs with more than just breath. It wasn’t soon enough that his arms were
wrapped around her waist and she was flush to his chest.
It took a bit of wiggling but soon she was facing him with her hands pressed
firmly against his chest.His cheeks flushed brightly and Rey managed not to
make a sound. There was a tense silence about them, and Rey could only imagine
what he was thinking until he finally broke that silence about them. “Happy
Twelfth Birthday, Lady Rey.” He moved her hands from his chest and gently
brushed his lips across her knuckles. It was her turn to blush a bright
crimson.
“I hadn’t even remembered it was today, if I’m being honest, your highness. It
humbles me that you would have remembered.” Ben rolled his eyes and gave her a
lightly pinch in the side.
“Don’t ever speak to me like that, you make me feel old.” He made the quick
mistake of turning his back on her and she was quick to sneak up behind him and
sweep his feet from under him. The prince crashed down to the ground, grabbing
her wrist as a last resort. Rey grunted when she fell flat into his chest, even
if he did cushion her fall. When she went to sit up, Ben held her close with a
smug smirk. “Where is it that you’re off to in such a hurry, ma’am.” He
snickered and when she swatted at him, he caught her wrist.
“Off to-” Rey struggled against his tight, but not at all hurtful grip, “Find
someone to celebrate with, because you’re horrendous. I highly doubt you would
grant me my single wish even if it is my birthday.” She pouted, refusing to
look him in the eye. Ben frowned slightly and then pushed up slightly so that
she could settle in a more comfortable position.
“Rey, I would give you anything that you asked for, you should know this.” Ben
said, his voice the epitome of sincerity before he brushed a loose curl behind
her ear.
When she met his gaze, his attentions were settled on her face, seeming to map
out the features as his eyes moved softly over her. “Anything?” Rey challenged,
enjoying that he was playing right into her little trap. When Ben leaned in,
she plucked the circlet from his head and dropped it on her own, earning a
chuckle that seemed to come from both of them at the same time. “Even this?” He
echoed her, rolling his eyes, but not before touching their foreheads together.
“What if…” She pulled back, sparing a hand to cup his cheek, “I asked you to
kiss me?”
Ben blinked at her, swallowed, and then slowly leaned in to her...
===============================================================================
 
Winter- 1353-January 1354 (continued)
“See!” Hayden snapped at his sister, “I told you that he’s the one that kissed
her!” Rey chuckled, kissing his cheek while Charlie crossed her arms over her
chest stubbornly.
Rey waited for the rebuttal that Hayden would no doubt accept as fact, “Yeah-”
it began, “Well he wouldn’t have kissed her if she didn’t ask him to, so
technically it’s still her fault.”
“Do you two want me to continue or should I stop here?”
“No, mummy!” The both shouted in unison, “Please do more. This is the best
part!” Charlie continued and Rey let out a small sigh.
“As you wish.”
===============================================================================
 
Summer 1347 (continued)
“As you wish.” Ben murmured, closing his eyes long enough to think, to
rationalize  just what he was doing before gently pressing his lips over hers.
Rey went to lean into the kiss but he pulled back and her nose hit roughly into
hers. She gasped, holding her face, pulling back before chuckling.
The young woman chuckled softly as he pulled away as well. Upon seeing her, he
also started to chuckle. Rey leaned forward, stealing another kiss from his
lips. The prince gently put his hand on her shoulder, guiding her away from
him. “Rey, you don’t know what this means…”
She shook her head slowly, “Ben, I don’t care. Anything that comes from it,
it’s something that I want. I promise you this with… With all of my heart.” Rey
looked away and Ben cupped her cheek, tilting it so that she was forced to look
him in the eyes. “Ben, what are you..”
“I love you.”
===============================================================================
 
Winter- 1353-January 1354 (continued)
The children had fallen asleep shortly after she had continued and Rey kissed
each of them lightly on their foreheads when she had the realization that there
was something else that could be done to protect them.
Her brother arrived the next morning, the children all too happy to see their
Uncle Poe, all too happy to go with him for the rest of the summer where they
would be safe. Where they would find themselves in the orchard of their fairy
tale. Poe came up to her, kissed either of her cheeks and after lunch, he took
her children.
Soon enough, she was on her way to see the queen, where she would volunteer as
a spy in the enemy kingdom.
***** Then I Was Young and Unafraid *****
Chapter Notes
     I'm sorry. Jk. I'm not. You were warned.
     This chapter is NSFW (under age but consensual), easily avoided in
     the second section for Winter 1351, you don't have to read it if you
     don't want to, just thought I would give the heads up.
Then I Was Young and Unafraid
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung
No wine untasted
===============================================================================
 
Summer 1354
Al’akhira was cold. There was snow on every inch of the visible ground and
everything that wasn’t white was gray. The sky was filled with dark ominous
clouds, blocking out the sun just enough that the looming citadel seemed to be
kept in an eerie twilight. Rey tugged her cloak around her a bit tighter,
pulled her bag a bit closer, and walked a little faster towards the iron gates.
Once inside the atmosphere changed… but not drastically.
Aside from the quiet chatter between vendors and buyers about the price of an
apple, or a pound of milled wheat, there was little noise being made. No
children laughed, no voices sang, and there was not a single moment that she
hadn’t felt watched. A shiver ran down her spine as she followed a few bustling
servants towards a door cut into the stone of the castle itself. A young man
stopped her almost immediately though.
“Well you certainly aren’t from around here.” He quipped, catching her elbow
with a brow raised, Rey paled immediately, ice running through her veins in the
place of blood. “Come on, I’ve got a heavier cloak in my chambers that you can
use. You’ll freeze like that, particularly going in and out of the castle.” The
dark-skinned soldier spoke, shaking his head slightly. Rey only managed to
catch some of what he said under his breath, “Servants… freezing, and he
wonders…”
Rey, for the first time in her journey, cracked into a slight smile-- at least
she wasn’t alone in her thinking. The young woman couldn’t be certain about
what made her trust this man so  implicitly , so suddenly, but it was like a
slice of home, a sliver of light and warmth in the wasteland that was
Al’akhira.
===============================================================================
 
The soldier’s name turned out to be nothing more than a code, FN-2187. He
explained that, according to the king, soldiers deserved no identity for they
were no more than an extension of the Empire’s will and great strength. He
often shared meals with her, and more often offered her a place on the couches
in his rooms where the fire was lit and the blankets weren’t threadbare. Rey
relied on him for information about what was going on, and he relied on her for
“comfort”. They fell into place together, and let the rumors stir in the
boiling pot. Rey, or Kira as she went by, was labeled a whore almost
immediately and was said to attend to the needs of men. She shared drinks with
Finn and laughed at the notion… If they only knew where his interests truly
lay.
“They say that the North tower is haunted…” Finn began, nursing a cup of warm
sweetened wine. Rey looked up for a moment, seeing the firelight flickering
against his skin from where they sat a foot or so from the hearth. The wind had
picked up and the colors dulled. For a moment, she saw him shiver in fear.
Snorting, Rey couldn’t help herself, “I don’t believe in ghosts, that’s such a
silly idea.”
“Well, I mean obviously it’s not a real ghost, people just hear moaning and
screaming coming from that tower, and then no one is allowed there. The king
stated that the structure of the building was compromised in the last siege so
he doesn’t want any of his lambs to be slaughtered.” Finn remarked, but the
bitter tone in his voice peaked Rey’s interest and she put her hand over his, “
I just wish I could get out of here. I would never look back.”
“You can, remember what I told you about where I’m from?” When he nodded, she
continued, “Well, the Resistance is always looking for fighters like you-” His
eyes widened and Rey immediately put a finger over his lips. No one was safe-
- not from the ears of the emperor, “You could go, they would welcome your
skills and everything you know, I’ll even write you a letter to take with you,
one to vouch for your character that way they wouldn’t question you, but… I
want you to take me to the north tower first. I want to see what everyone is
talking about.”
Winter 1351
“So long as I’m around you’ll never sleep in a cold bed.”
“Why? Because you’re so lazy that you turn in early every night?”
“You can’t talk to me like that.”
“Please excuse me, your highness. I seem to have forgotten my manners.” Rey
smiled at Ben from where she sat behind the too large oak desk. The young girl
closed the leather bound book that had been sat in front of her. “I’m starting
to wonder if you’re ever going to leave my room.” The prince chuckled and
pulled the blankets up to his chin. She turned stood slowly, “You know, Ben…
I’ve been thinking.”
“Well that’s not good.” Ben hummed, sitting up to watch her walk over towards
him. For a moment, he hesitated, but opened the blankets up for her, grabbing
her hand to pull her down into bed with him. Rey didn’t hesitate in the
slightest when it came to crawling down beside him, but paused before pushing
her fingers through his hair. “I’ve been thinking myself, that maybe… I’m
thinking about speaking to my mother about marrying sometime soon. It’s time
for there to be something happy to tell the people.”
Rey immediately drew her fingers back, “And what will I become then? Some
relique of your past. Get-” His lips were over hers an instant later and he
stared at her with one of  those  looks and she blushed, turning the color of
the maroon sheets that were tucked beneath her. “Oh.  Oh. ” Her breath left her
suddenly and sat down on the edge of her bed, putting her hand on her chest. “
Ben .”
The young prince crawled behind her and pressed his lips lightly to the curve
of her throat, “Yes, Rey. Should I ask formally or should I let you piece
together some more conclusions on your ow-” He yelped when she elbowed him in
the chest. Despite the violence in the action, her intent was innocent and Ben
chuckled when she flipped around and laid flat on top of him, grinning from ear
to ear. Tucking a curl behind her ear, “I know you’re young, young enough that
you have all the time in the world to find someone closer to your age to love
you the way I do, but I will never see anyone in the same light nor will I ever
love someone with a fraction of the magnitude that I love you.” She was crying
at this point, but the way her cheeks were flushed, and the way she gnawed on
her bottom lip eased his worry that this would end badly.
“Rey Kenobi, will you… one day, marry me?”
===============================================================================
 
Summer 1354
It seemed like ages had past since she said yes to such a simple question, yet
it was just that they were both captivated in the moment, stuck in that
fraction of time together, but now that the snow piled heavy on the grounds, it
was harder to sneak around the outside of the buildings, so Rey risked getting
caught, but still stayed inside. Finn had shown her a few nights ago where the
tower was, and how to find the entrance. As promised, she wrote him the letter
and he disappeared. Some romantic part of her hoped that he would be happy
there, that he would find someone to love him the way that he loved life. A
small smile grew and then faded. The guard rotation would be there soon.
The door creaked loudly and Rey slipped into the opening the second it was big
enough and closed it almost all the way behind her. This was it. Much to her
surprise, she saw a faint light around the immediate corner and followed it.
When she saw the first torch, it came as no surprise with the sheer magnitude
of the tower. Yet there were rows of torches. They staggered from her left to
her right every ten feet or so. In fact, this corridor might have been lit
better than the grand hall.
Trying not to make a sound, Rey walked on the tips of her toes through the
hall, sneaking down the spiral steps when she heard it…  The hair on the back
of her neck stood erect, her heart pounded, and  every  inch of her body
tenses, trying to run from the sound wave that slammed into her. It was human,
but only barely.  The ghost of the North Tower…  That rational part of her was
silent after hearing how people that travelled down here never made it out
alive again. Then there was something else though, a strange feeling welled in
her stomach that was different than the fear that originally struck her…
Gathering herself, Rey traveled further down the steps and came face to face
with a solid oak door. She would have to shove with all of her strength to get
it to open, so when it budged without a shove, Rey stepped back again. The pull
came again, tugging at her viscera with an unmeasurable strength and she
slipped past the door, eyes focusing in the dark…
It wasn’t the lack of light that concerned her though, but the smell was
unbearable. The whole room reeked of death, blood, and rotten flesh. Her
stomach turned and Rey’s stomach turned, nearly turning inside out. Bunching up
her dress sleeve, she managed to buffer the worst of it though her eyes still
burned and the darkness blinded her. When she followed the sliver of light
across the floor, her eyes fell upon a mop of messy black hair and skin
littered with blistering and infected sores that were layered over scars of
different ages. The man on the ground was large, but impossibly weak… What did
he do to deserve this?
His mouth hung open and soft cries left his lips though they fell against the
stone blocks of the floor. They were nonsensical until she actually started to
listen.
“Help…. Me… I… My wife… My Rey…”
===============================================================================
 
Winter 1351
It wasn’t unusual, to Rey anyway, for them to share a bed. As routine would
have it, they would eat and the strong flavors of the wine would lull Rey into
a drowsy state. Ben would bring her back to her rooms for the first few weeks,
then he wouldn’t sleep at all for a few more. Eventually, after quite a bit of
sleepy pleading, Ben ended up behind her. His arms would always be wrapped
tightly around her and Rey felt  safe . “Come on-” He urged, stealing her from
her thoughts as he climbed into bed, pulling the blankets out of order to
accommodate the both of them as the chill of the night settled in.
Rey played with the bow on the collar of her night shift, twisting the fraying
ends between her thumb and forefinger. “What is it?” Ben asked softly, sitting
up, that  air  of concern filling her with a genuine excitement that crept up
to her cheeks as a rosy blush.
“Nothing… I just… Well…” Feeling brave, Rey gently tugged at the strand, and
the fabric slipped down off of one of her shoulders, baring the top of her
chest and the delicate angle of her collarbones. “I thought tonight… Maybe…”
Ben had gotten out of bed soundlessly, and held the shoulder of her nightdress
up, keeping it from slipping any further. His cheeks were red, and Rey smiled
slightly-- she had already won.
Ben’s voice was rough, sounding unused, “We shouldn’t, we’re not… You…”
Rey raised her brows and put her hands flat against his chest, “I know we
shouldn’t, I know we’re not married, but we are engaged, so you have intent…
I’ll be fine.” She pressed against the ground with the balls of her feet,
tangling her fingers into the short curls at the base of his neck. “Do you want
to? And I don’t want to know if you think we should, or anything like that,
Ben.” Her lips grazed across his jaw; she knew the action drove him mad from
those evenings where he would want no more than to kiss her silly. Come to
think of it, there was not a night that Rey’s lips weren’t swollen.
His response was physical. Ben grabbed Rey by the hips so suddenly that she was
gathered into his arms and her feet barely touched the floor. A sound left her
mouth that Ben drank into a hungry kiss. She hadn’t known what to expect in
asking, but this… Was everything she could have dreamed of. Her fingers scraped
against his scalp. His tongue dragged across her lips. Her body arched into
his, lips parting. He carried her to the bed and pressed her down into the
plush mattress. “Yes…” Ben answered her forgotten question, “Yes, I want to, I
have for ages.”
Some misplaced part of her should have been terrified of that look in his eyes,
but Rey responded with a fierce kiss, and tugged his shirt over his head. She
would never forget the intricate crisscrossing of scars across his pale skin,
or the way that his whole chest flushed as he bore himself to her. Ben was the
gentle one and slowly lifted the material off of her, following the hem of the
fabric with a soft touch. Rey mewled at his caresses, her back bowing off the
bed in a beautiful arch. She thought she knew pleasure until his lips bruised
where the slender column of her throat joined her shoulder.
Rey moaned. The animalistic sound served only to make his desire to please her
more intense and he slipped a hand down the flat planes of her stomach and
gently hooked a single digit inside of her. Rey’s eyes snapped open and before
she could make any more noise. Ben soothed her with a gentle kiss. “Do you want
me to stop?” She shivered and then shook her head, mumbling about wanting him, 
“Tell me… If you do, Rey…” He made her promise before pressing the heel of his
palm against her hot flesh.
“O-oh.” She gasped when she leaned up to kiss him. Something about the pressure
of his hand and the slow pulsing of his finger made her dizzy. “I…” Ben stole
her words without second thought and then moved slowly, deepening his actions
while pressing a bit harder. Rey slipped a hand between them, feeling his solid
body above her while also drifting lower. Just as her fingers brushed the
tightly wound curls that she knew would surround his manhood, the digits that
were so expertly working her circled around her wrist.
Ben brought her fingers up to his mouth and kissed each one with diligence and
care, “Don’t worry about me, I’ll take care of myself once I’m done with you.”
The heavy tone of his voice sent tendrils of arousal through her body and Rey
nodded as he went back to work.
She was left to stare at the canopy, though her eyes hardly ever focused. His
lips formed a circle around one of her nipples, suckling it until it was hard
before moving to the next one. Suddenly, there was a stretch and a burn, Rey
growled and her fingers dug into the sheets beneath her, but then the pressure
subsided, building differently. His thumb flicked against her and each time he
slipped through her heat, Rey’s legs twitched. His amusement was palpable, but
how could she care…  it felt so  good .
The pressure mounted on top of itself as his thumb circled and rubbed and
stroked until Rey could have sworn she was hanging over the edge of a cliff,
waiting to either die or be saved. When it  ended . Rey whined, looking up at
him, only to be met with a fierce kiss and more burning between her legs. She
bit his lip so hard it drew blood, but Ben didn’t pull away, he nuzzled against
her, “You need to relax, Rey. I swear, it will hurt less if you do.”
The young woman closed her eyes with a small nod and focused on letting the
pain go. His fingers had stilled, but his thumb was back, massaging her as she
got used to the stretch of his three fingers buried knuckle deep into her
womanhood. Ben brought her back to that edge, this time it was different…
stronger… his fingers worked harder, thumb circled faster, and, oh, did her
whole body react.
 The onslaught eventually became too much, “ Ben !” She shrieked, grabbing his
wrist just as all of that tension inside of her snapped. Somewhere in the haze
of it all, there was a sharp pain, but nothing compared to the reeling that her
mind did in the aftermath of the orgasm. When she finally came down far enough
to realize where she was, Rey cupped Ben’s cheek and kissed his bruised bottom
lip where she had bitten it and then again for good measure.
“How do you feel?” He whispered against her skin, their bodies flush and he
then buried his face into her chest, sucking on her sternum and fleshy breasts.
Rey smiled happily before moaning in response. Her head fell to the side and
Ben even laughed a little when he felt one of her fingers loosely slip into his
hair. “That’s good…” He smirked, purring lightly against her skin. “Once more
then?” Rey propped herself up onto an elbow, forcing Ben to look up at her, but
when she went to glance between their bodies, Ben caught her chin. “I told you
I would take care of it, didn’t I?” he whispered, sucking her bottom lip
playfully between his teeth, tugging the flesh back before letting it snap
closed.
“I just…” The hoarseness and fragility of her own voice surprised her and she
met his gaze, “I wanted to… You know…”
“And we will. Lay back down…” He punctuated his sentence with a roll of his
hips and while it  s t u n g , there was still pleasure in it. Her eyes brimmed
with tears that he was quick to wipe away with the pad of his thumb, still
dripping from her orgasm. “Shh, shh, shh, I know it hurts. I know. It will get
better.”
Rey cut him off with a very small, “You promise?” Ben smiled, massaging her
breast with one hand, teasing the rosy nipple with a kiss. Her chest lifted to
his ministrations, giving no hint that she was in pain and he nodded.
  “Yes, Rey. I promise.”

===============================================================================
 
Throughout the night he was gentle with her, easily guiding his length in and
out of her body, rolling his hips so that his body pressed against all those
places she was sensitive. Rey lost count of how many times he felt her pulsing
inside of him, his body bent over hers in the throes of passion and exhaustion.
When breakfast came the next morning, Rey couldn’t help but giggle at the
expression of the servant that brought a tray of food. Regardless, a second
came a few moments later. Of course there would be rumors, and nasty lies to be
told about them, but there was not a single piece of her that could be brought
to the threshold of caring what they had to say.
Not until the war came to Alderaan.
===============================================================================
 
Summer 1354
“ Ben… ”
No. It couldn’t be. He was dead. He had to be dead… dead. Not this. Not reduced
to this heap on the floor. Tears rolled down her face, but she was already
blinded by the darkness. What fear had settled in her stomach turned into
anger. The ice in her veins was replaced with a fiery hatred. What man had done
this to the Prince of Alderaan? To her lover? To her fiance? To the father of
her children? “I’ll be back. I promise you.” She whispered, having fallen to
her knees beside him. “You can’t tell Hux that I’m here, okay, but I promise
I’m going to get you out of here. Alright?” When Ben looked up at her, Rey
nearly broke into sobs at his expression. The fear she felt coming down here
was nothing compared to what terror she saw in his eyes.
Despite the dirt and the grime and the filth, Rey pressed a kiss to his temple
and carded her fingers through his hair. “It’s me, Ben. I swear. I’m really
here.” Her voice was thick, choked by the weight of the realization-- the
Empire had Ben and she was powerless without help to save him. If only she
hadn’t sent Finn away so soon. When the prince looked up at her again, there
was a flicker of realization… he remembered…
“Rey…” Rey nodded furiously at the sound of his voice and held him for as long
as she could, whispering to him over and over how she was going to get them
both out of there. She told him that he needed to hold on, just for a little
longer. Eventually, he fell asleep with his head in her lap, her fingers
tangled up with the matted strands. Oh, how he would loathe having to cut it
all off when he returned to Alderaan-- not if, but  when . Rey collected
herself, and pressed a kiss to his temple before slipping out from underneath
him. It took all of her strength to creep back out of the door… To leave him
there in such a state but it and to be done if she wanted to live through the
ordeal.
Her distraction made her careless, and unobservant.
Her heart swelled with the idea of a homecoming, with the thought that they
would live the rest of their years together with their two children; they would
be happy.
Her dreams would come crashing down her moments later as a gloved hand snaked
around her neck and pinned her to the stone wall. Rey gasped immediately,
fighting at her unseen assailant. “Get off of me-” She croaked, but her toes
barely scraped across the ground. They were strong-- a guard perhaps. But that
fiery red hair… No.
“Come now, child. Surely we don’t want to end the fun too soon.”
It was over, and Rey felt the king dragging her down into unconsciousness.
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